10 simple guidelines.
1. Invest in a Good Wardrobe.
Even if it’s a few items that you can mix and match. A few pairs of high quality shoes, a couple of nice coats or jackets good jeans, and several button up high end shirts to mention a few. Clothes are important and make a huge impression. Purge those college clothes and the warn out tennis shoes along with buying new t-shirts to name a few.
2) Be Respectful to Women.
I hear a lot of stories about men at happy hours, and professional networking functions, particularly in sales and marketing who make sexually obnoxious comments to women. These men seem to think their comments are “great pick-up lines” and that woman actually enjoy their inappropriate remarks. In reality these comments are experienced as tasteless, tacky and disrespectful. Women talk among themselves about the men that behave this way and these men create very repugnant reputations for themselves. Often among their male colleagues as well. They are seen as cocky jackasses and are avoided and disliked. Be respectful and kind. Women already get barraged with crass inappropriate comments and yours won’t be uniquely funny. Don’t be surprised if you don’t get that sale, don’t make that network connection, or if you find yourself standing alone with a cocktail. No matter how good you may think you look or how successful you may think you are. The woman you disrespected may end up being your boss one day.
Continue reading Tips for Men over 30.
Men and women have very different emotional needs in a relationship. Women need love through emotional and physical attentiveness and intimacy. Men need love too but for them love is synonymous with Respect. Of course, all healthy relationships need mutual respect. Men however, feel so much more valued, important and empowered when a woman gives him respect.
It helps them to feel better about themselves, it pushes them to work harder to achieve, they begin to feel more valued, and interestingly, your respect makes them want to do more. Does this sound simple? It is, and it works.
Since women have infiltrated the professional world, and can be fiercely independent, often they overlook or don’t want to provide this needed respect. Many of the couples I see in therapy have this underlying issue. Very often, the husband just doesn’t feel needed or respected for his role, and his role as a man is overlooked. Recently, a man stated to me in session: “You know, I know my wife works hard and she earns, but damn it would be nice once in awhile if she told me that she appreciated how much “I” earn or how hard “I” work and and how much she appreciates when she goes to the grocery store, and doesn’t have to look at the prices, like the money just magically is there”. Unlike men, women require much more emotional sustainment, yet a simple demonstration or verbalization of respect toward your man once in a while goes a long long way. As I always say to my female clients who are often resistant to this idea, ” Hey, can you put your pride aside and throw him a bone once in while? tell him he’s a good provider that you appreciate how hard he works. Let him have some control over big decisions, and help him feel like a man”. When they do follow my suggestion it’s transformational. As I stated, lots of women don’t want to put their pride aside. “But I work hard too, I don’t need to hear that why should I tell him that, what about my needs?” Because it’s what he NEEDS that’s why. You need to snuggle, you need to hear your attractive, you need flowers or gifts or cards, texts, phone calls. He needs this. Provide it. It takes very little of your emotional energy to do this.
And by the way, if you can say something positive in front of others, that’s a cherry on the top. He will feel like a King, stronger, unstoppable, and will WANT to do more for you and be happier in your relationship. So ladies, tell your man he’s great. Complement him on his abilities. When he does something that demonstrates good judgment tell him! Show him Respect. The love you need will come, and you will find that you will happier as well.